Power and Pleasure
by izzy95
Summary: All Regina ever wanted from her was power and pleasure. But how will Regina handle it when Emma keeps pushing her for more? Was supposed to be slightly angsty, slightly AU since no mention of FTL for now. Swan Queen.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I know this story may come off a bit weird, but give it a chance anyway, please. There's not going to be any mention of the curse for now, fair warning. Swan Queen, obviously. Thank to MaFan for beta-reading this and pretty please review and tell me what you think! Btw, the drawing belongs to me, meaning that you can't use it without permission. It took many hours.**

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All that they ever do is fight and fuck with equal passion. The scar of evil has been burned to deeply inside Regina that she can't let herself go, can't let herself lose control. And fighting and pushing back makes her feel that she's taking control. The feeling of vocally crushing someone and their self-esteem is like having psychological power over someone. And if there's something that Regina loves, its power. Just like when she feels her fingers burning deep inside Emma, fucking her hard, having complete control over her release, having physical control over her body and her pleasure. That for her feels like power. The problem comes whenever that Emma wants to stay in her arms afterward, when she wants to show her affection, wants to send her flowers, when she wants to stop fighting at all. Whenever Emma tells her that she wants to stay with her, hold her, be a family, flirt and date and be in a relationship; that's when it becomes difficult for her. She likes control. But being in a loving and giving relationship requires the ability to let go of yourself and give control and trust to the other person, just as it requires the ability to help and take responsibility over the person in a giving, loving and kind way. Not in a controlling, dictating and destroying way, and Regina has never seen herself capable of such thing. Not since Daniel.

But this time it was different. Even though it was many years ago that Daniel died, she still remembered it. Her love. Her hurt. But this was nothing like it. Emma wasn't Daniel. And this time it wasn't as easy. Nothing ever just came to her like it used to, she constantly had to work on it. There was no doubt that Emma was going to make it easy for her, but the thing is, the problem wasn't with Emma; it was with herself. Emma was soft and kind, edgy and experimental, full of life and happiness, full of love and care for both her and their son. Regina remembered the first time they kissed.

It was getting closer and closer to Christmas and the tension was building between the two women. Regina was insisting that she wanted to celebrate the holiday alone with Henry, while Emma really wanted to take him home to herself with Mary Margaret and spend the day with family and friends. Throw a small party or something like that.

It was a Wednesday afternoon, just like any other. The only difference was that this Wednesday Regina had finally given in to let Henry spend some time with Emma and Mary Margaret. It gave her more time to do her own work without interruption, and perhaps for Henry to get a better relationship to his teacher wouldn't harm his grades, no matter Regina thought of her. So you could only imagine the shock when a tall blonde woman with tight black jeans and a red leather jacket, suddenly knocked on her door.

"Ms. Swan. What can I help you with? Is there problems with Henry?"

"No, not at all. I just wanted to pick up some of his stuff and maybe even get a fair chance to speak to you."

Regina let her eyes wander over Emma's body, trying her best to not want to rip her to pieces and send her to the moon in anger. Deciding that it probably wouldn't be the best idea, she slowly stepped aside to welcome the blonde into her house with a fake smile plastered across her lips.

"Ms. Swan, I can assure that if this is about Christmas again-" Regina started after closing her door behind them only to be cut off.

"I really think that he should come over! Just for a couple of hours. Have fun, see his family-"

"I'm his family!" Regina retorted. There was still no way in hell that that perky little blonde with her false charm and too tight pants was going to waltz in here and try and steal _her_ son away from her!

"Well, I'm his family too, whether you like it or not!" Emma stepped closer to the brunette who was still standing by the front door. "And why do you always have to make things so difficult!"

"So now _I'm_ the one making things difficult? Because if I remember correctly, _I_ wasn't the one showing up unannounced, _demanding_ Henry on _our_ holiday like some crazy bitch!" Regina stepped closer as well, matching the blonde.

"And if _I_ remember correctly, it was very same boy who showed up at _my_ doorstep in _Boston _wanting to get away from _you_." Emma poked Regina above her chest with her finger to try and make a point.

"If you had wanted Henry in your life you wouldn't have given him up for adoption in the first place! That was _your_ fault, Miss Swan! Not mine!" Regina spit venomously at her, stepping impossibly close to her blonde, letting her own eyes roam over Emma's face in hatred, while her heart started beating like crazy as she got closer still. So many feelings seemed to be stirring inside, it was impossible to keep track.

"All I want is to make sure that he's okay! I have absolutely no interest in being his 'mom'!" She was completely losing it, lost in anger and seduced by the sharpness of Regina's expensive perfume and the closeness of the other woman, making her heart beat with even more frustration.

"Well may I ask you then, about what you're doing standing in my house? You don't _need_ my permission to leave this town, if that's what you came for?" Regina saw the mixed emotions in the blonde's flickering dark eyes and prayed that she could use it to her advantage and win the argument.

"You know what?!" Emma started, but suddenly couldn't find the words, as Regina once more stepped forwards, making the blonde blush, their breaths tangling, lips practically hovering over one another.

"What?" Regina's voice was low and daring, not really helping Emma's composure in the slightest.

Their eyes sought each other in a silent fight as Emma tried to think of something clever, but failing miserably due to the feel of Regina this close to her. She didn't know whether she wanted to strangle her and kiss her senseless.

"God!" Emma breathed, as she finally couldn't take it anymore, shoving the mayor rather roughly back against the closed door. Looking deeply into her eyes, seeking some sort of permission, she stopped for a second. But never truly finding her answer, she launched forward anyways, her lips meeting Regina's in a brutal kiss.

At first Regina was completely taken aback, not really knowing what to do, before she herself leaned forward, kissing her back with just as much power and passion. Tongues danced for dominance as both their mind were clouded with lust. It was only when Regina felt Emma's hand on the hem of her shirt that she finally snapped back into realization, pushing her violently back, before slapping her harshly across her cheek, making Emma stumble backwards.

Emma briefly looked at the mayor. Her face was flushed; lips slightly parted looking at her like she was absolutely crazy. After standing still for a second, Emma finally moved forward, her shoulder intentionally crashing into Regina's' as she roughly opened the front door and slammed it after her with so much power, you should think that it would break.

Left behind, stood a rather confused and senseless Regina, still trying to calm her breath and rapidly beating heart while continuously trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened, only to come up blank.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Finally, chapter 2 has arrived! I want to thank people for the kind reviews and for following and then of course thank my wonderful beta-reader mafan, for reading this through and helping me out. I hope to update a bit more often after this, so expect more ;)**

**And please review, it makes me want to write faster and never fails to make me smile :)**

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For days after, Regina still had a hard time wrapping her mind around that kiss. Just the thought made her heart beat faster and more violently. It made her legs shake, her composure cracking. Her mind went blank. It was like her control wouldn't let her see her own feelings, too scared of falling apart. She liked her life. It was quiet, relaxing, a great life. She was the mayor, everyone did as she pleased, she had a son who she loved very much. She had everything that she could ask for. She couldn't just give all that up because of one simple, angry kiss. She couldn't let this person screw everything up. But she had absolutely no idea about what to do. Taking advantage of Emma's sudden outburst of feelings somehow felt wrong to do. But then again, wasn't she supposed to be the Evil Queen? And if this was the game the blonde smart ass wanted to play, then she would be more than happy to comply. And if her feelings didn't really want to speak anyway, then what did she really have to lose? Henry was already running away from her anyway and people were starting to question her as it was.

Regina hadn't really heard from Emma. Well, she knew that she was still running around with her son in all secrecy, but the blonde hadn't shown herself. She thought she might be too afraid. She couldn't really blame her though. It hadn't been that pretty at their last encounter, but the time for their budget and town meeting was drawing near and Regina had been in touch with some construction builders about some work in the town which required some cut downs.

The day of the meeting, Regina was sitting in her huge chair behind her desk, dressed as formal as ever, waiting impatiently for the announcement of the Sheriff's appearance; and when the call finally came, she was more than happy to stand up to greet her.

"Sheriff." she said, smiling her usual flawless and controlled smile.

"Madam Mayor." Emma replied as she made her way to the chair which Regina had gestured for her to sit in. It was rolling off her in waves how uncomfortable and awkward she felt even being there.

The meeting turned out to be just as awkward as Emma was. It seemed impossible for the blonde to relax, which didn't really help Regina a lot, since she just wanted to get this over with. She had decided after all, that she couldn't afford to waste her precious time on this Swan woman. Who did she think she was anyway?

And when everything had finally been discussed and case closed, it seemed that Emma wasn't really that reluctant to leave anyway. Maybe she had just been saving courage to actually discuss something after all.

"Listen, Regina, there's something I've been meaning to say."

"What is it, dear?" Regina's smile was just as untouchable as ever, even if her heart had started to beat harder than before. Sensing what Emma wanted to talk about, it was suddenly she who was feeling uncomfortable.

"About last time...the kiss, I mean I-"

"If you going to say that you're sorry, you might as well save it." If there were something which Regina found pathetic, it was apologizing, especially for your own feelings. She could just have kept her hands to herself in the first place.

"I'm not apologizing." Emma stated firmly, standing her ground. Regina's head shot up in surprise at the statement. She hadn't really been expecting that.

"Then what is it?" the politeness of the tone was falling off, it almost seemed like she was snapping at her. Emma just smiled in return. Suddenly everything seemed lost to the brunette. Her mind went blank, her body refusing to listen anymore, turning her on autopilot as Emma started to walk closer and closer still.

"I... really liked it..." Emma confessed, blushing more than ever.

"Really?" Regina asked, condescension evident in her voice and smirk.

"And... I wanted to try it again..." Emma couldn't really believe that she was actually doing this, allowing herself to be so vulnerable; and towards Regina of all people. It was a curse, but something that she couldn't really live without.

"Then do it." Regina's mocking smirk hadn't changed, but her tone was serious, daring her. It surprised herself just as much as it surprised Emma. The blonde seemed to stare deeply into Regina's eyes, trying to enter the mind that even Regina herself couldn't unlock.

And then nothing seemed to matter once again as Emma leaned forward, capturing her lips in the softest kiss Regina had ever experienced, pouring all her untold feelings into it. Which didn't really go well with the mayor, who had absolutely no intention of sharing anything of herself with the filthy son-stealer. So instead she leaned in closer, taking over and creating a brutal and violent kiss, shocking the unsuspecting sheriff. Tongue demanding entrance, Emma found herself complying, letting herself be controlled, too caught up in her emotions to even begin to understand what was actually happening.

Regina never slowed down as she turned them around and pushed a reluctant Emma against the wall, placing her hands on either side of the blonde, trapping her. Emma didn't really mind though, as she tangled her hands into the Mayor's hair, bringing her closer and trying to slow things down. Regina wasn't about to do that as she bit down hard on her lower lip, drawing blood. When Emma felt the blood trickling down her chin, she pulled back, pushing Regina aside, her hand going to her lip.

"Ouch!" she exclaimed. "God, what did you do that for?!" Emma was getting really frustrated by now. That was definitely not a part of the plan.

"Oh, but I thought that's what you wanted?" Regina answered in false innocence. Her powerful masking smirk hadn't been moved in the slightest. No emotions were showing whatsoever. It almost scared Emma.

"Yes... But..." Emma was really at loss for words.

"But what, dear?" Regina asked, knowingly teasing her.

"Nothing... Just, forget it..." Emma looked around, confused. "I have to go... I have this appointment I have to prepare for..." she said. Before turning away, she stepped forward once more, pressing her lips against the brunette's just as softly as she had the first time. "Good day Madam Mayor." she whispered in Regina's ear, before turning around and leaving, not bothering to wait for an answer. Understandably enough, if Regina had to be honest.

She knew very well that she wasn't being very fair, but as she tried to calm her racing heart and whirling mind, she started to wonder about how fair she was to herself? It felt like she was playing with the fire, constantly stepping closer to what in the end would be an inevitable burn, but somehow she was enjoying this far too much to stop.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hei! Sorry for the long wait, it wasn't really in my plan. Hopefully, the next chapters will come quicker, but right now it all depends on my lovely beta-reader mafan. I'm changing in this chapter to Emma's point of view, but I _might_ re-upload this chapter later, written in 3. person. So I'm actually very curious as to whether you guys think I should keep it or change it. I think it's chapter 6 that's also written this way, so I may change that as well if you guys don't like it with the POV's**

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_**Emma's POV**_

As I step into my yellow car, I'm not really sure about what to think. All I know is that it feels like my blood is boiling and my head is spinning. I feel dizzy and angry. Great! Just fucking great, this is exactly what I need! If she could just learn to relax a bit! I'm so tired of this always being about mocking and pretending. What can't she just be honest for once? If she didn't want me anyway, she could have said no. I run a frustrated hand through my hair as I finally start the car, heading for Henry's school.

When he sees me waiting for him, Henry's face lights up and he starts running towards me, leaping into my arms.

"Emma!" he says. "I didn't think you would come! I heard that you and Mom had been fighting again." I'm not really sure if I should blush, thinking of the previous events, or if I should curse. I hate how Regina's always trying to feed him with her twisted stories and lies. Ultimately I think I end up in an awkward mix of them both.

"Of course I'd show, kid. You should know by now that she can't do anything to scare me away." There were a few small exceptions of course, like literally drawing blood all the while trying to kiss me senseless. But that really didn't have anything to do with Henry after all. That's something between just the two of us.

Suddenly a thought invaded my mind unwillingly. What if all this had really just been some kind of stunt to show off their Sheriff off as a filthy lesbian, seducing the completely innocent mayor? No, it couldn't be like that, could it?

In the evening I sit down to have dinner with Mary Margaret. She keeps talking about some project she's making with the smaller kids in the school, but my thoughts keep running away on their own. Her voice is now merely a whisper in the back of my mind, as I close my eyes to find Regina standing tall and beautifully before me. I want to kiss her, touch her, but every time I try to move closer to take her into my arms, it seems she's only moving further away from me; her walls pushing me away. I remember her very clearly. The taste of her lips, the feel of her form, so warm and slender in my arms, but she's still pushing too hard.

Ever since I first met her, I liked her secretly. And the more the drama grew, the hotter I found her still. The more she pushed, the more I wanted to pull. I feel like I'm trapped under her spell. I couldn't help it when I kissed her. It came so natural to me, it seemed so perfect. And when I realized that she was kissing me back with the same hunger... I thought I was going to die! It was like the earth itself melted away, no, exploded around me, leaving nothing left but the brutal reality of her in my arms. The warm and tingling feeling she evoked inside me. Yes, it was hazy, harsh and lustful, but as much as I've tried to convince myself otherwise, it wasn't just my lower body parts that had a wakeup call. It was my heart as well. My every sense suddenly felt like it belonged to her. I wanted more. That's why I put my hand to her shirt. I wanted her to be mine as well. And I wasn't really that satisfied with the fact that we still had so many clothes on, when all I wanted to do was to feel her naked skin against mine.

I wasn't really that surprised when she slapped me, but in a strange way it only seemed to increase my desire for her. This past week, I couldn't keep her out of my mind, no matter how much I tried. Her face seemed to be haunting me. Just like it is right now.

As Mary Margaret looks at me like she wants me to agree with her on something, I take a moment think before I answer her.

"Yeah, you're right, sounds completely out of its mind!" I act shocked, to add a little more sincerity.

"I know, right?" Mary Margaret answers, luckily enough buying my act.

Nodding at her, very pleased with myself, I return to my daydreaming. As I said before I couldn't forget her. I couldn't let go of that feeling of still wanting _more_. Not just sexually, but more emotionally. I know about Regina's walls; her safety and her fake smiles, making her come off as intimidating and powerful. She wants people to see her that way, powerful, but all I want is for her to show me her true self, her real face, the true Regina, who according to the town has been long forgotten. So all week I had been building up courage to try and ask her out on a date. Maybe get to know the not-constantly-yelling side of her. Instead I decided on waiting until our meeting. And god, I can't remember the last time I had been that nervous. I was a wreck. You know, its one thing to ask a hot girl out, but it is another thing entirely to ask your hot and angry arch enemy out, whom also happens to be the mother of your son. There wasn't really any good way around it, and sitting there, going over piles of paper, felt like some sort of horrible punishment. When the words finally came out, it went so wrong. I felt like burying myself six feet under. 'I would like to kiss you again?' Not even asking her on a proper date like a proper gentlewoman! I really wanted to. It's just hard! But who can really blame me. It _is_ Regina after all...

When Mary Margaret pokes me in the side, I finally shoot back to reality.

"You _weren't_ listening to me!" The teacher looks a mix of irritated and concerned. I realize that she must have tried to get my attention for some time now. Damn Regina!

"I'm sorry. Don't take it personally; I just got a bit distracted."

"Yeah, I can see that. What's on your mind anyway? Something you want to talk about?" she asks, worried as always.

"No, not really. It's just been a rough day I guess. That budget meeting with 'Madam Mayor' just seemed to drag out, that's all." Mary Margaret pats my hand in sympathy.

"I get it. I'm sorry, I completely forgot about that meeting. I know what kind of a pain she can be sometimes. How did it go anyway?" I'm kind of lost at her question. What should I tell her? I don't really want her to know, but I hate lying to her.

"I feel a bit frustrated about her right now, if I have to be honest." It's not really a lie. "I tried, but she insists on being her old and cold hearted self. I really tried this time, and now I don't know if I should be angry or not."

"I'm sorry. You know Regina, and I have known her even longer, and if there's one thing that's clear to me, it's that she's not capable of changing. She's sly and knows how to manipulate people to get what she wants. She's cruel and more or less incapable of love. I think the only person she's ever really cared for is Henry. But she can't control you as easily, and she knows that. I think she's afraid of you. It was also about time that someone started pushing back." she shrugs, now lost in her own train of thought.

But I don't want to push Regina away. I want to get her closer. So close that she can finally rest in my arms. She must surely be exhausted by all of this. By people hating her, her own son turning against her, by having to wear that ridiculous mask all of the time, and as much as it pains me to say it, she must be exhausted by me and how I seem to have taken all that used to be hers. And now, when I'm also making demands of her... I can only imagine what sort of stress she must be going through. I just wish that I wasn't the cause. Then maybe, just maybe, I could help her...

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**Tell me what you think, reviews makes me want to write more!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Finally chapter 4 has arrived! I'm sorry that it took this long, but well, life... Hopefully, chapter 5 will come sooner! This chapter is inspired by my own childhood and relationship to my mother, as this focuses on Henry and Regina's relation, as well as Regina's thoughts in general. Thanks to my lovely beta-reader mafan, and please do write and tell me what you think! Feedback always motivates me to work quicker! :)**

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Regina had always wanted the perfect family, ever since she first fell in love with Daniel. She had wanted to grow old by his side, watching as their many children would grow up and have children of their own, preferably when Regina was still able to hold them. She had wanted smiles and love and to be cherished and to have someone to give her their all. Even after his death, it seemed that the need for someone to love again was still there. She had tried, but given her circumstances, she had always failed miserably.

When Henry first came, it had been a gift sent from the heaven itself (or rather, Mr. Gold). She had given him everything she had, but she had been too consumed with hatred and self-pity it seemed, that she didn't realize how much he really meant to her. How her world evolved around him, and now he hated her like the plague.

Gently, Regina set down the plates at the table, trying to watch her only son for just some sort of reaction. As per usual, there was none.

"How was your day?" she asked, sitting down with her own plate.

Henry simply shrugged his shoulders and sunk into his chair, a fork messing around in the lasagne. She had made it especially for him because she knew how much he liked it. Or used to it seemed.

"It's rude not to answer when someone asks you a question." Regina snapped, unable to control herself. It hurt how little her son cared for her.

"I honestly thought I taught you better than that."

_'I__ wish you would just talk to me__,__ I miss tha__t,__and I__ miss you__',_ is what she really meant with her hurtful words. She just wished he could see that.

Henry flinched. He hated it when his mother acted like this. It wasn't any wonder that he didn't want to talk to her when she was acting like this towards him, but he also knew that there would be more consequences for him if he didn't just answer her damned question.

"It was fine." His voice was cold, uninterested. It cut through Regina like a knife. He didn't even look up at her. It made her feel angry and extremely frustrated at the same time, but she also knew that it wouldn't help to yell at him. She just had to accept the fact that he simply hated her guts. Or, she _should_ have just accepted that fact, but she knew that she couldn't do that.

"Eat your diner properly, dear." She corrected him as he just kept messing with the food, a depressed look on his face.

Henry straightened up as he started eating. A part of him just wanted to hurry and finish the dinner as soon as possible, to get away, but he knew that he didn't really have anything to do anyway, so he decided to eat with her instead. It was hard, when the bad mood only seemed to grow. His mom was still eager to get him to talk, but each time he replied, she just seemed to get angrier because it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

And as diner progressed, the failure of it all crashing down made Henry begin to speed up anyway. Maybe he was lucky and she would allow him to go earlier if he just straightened his back more and tried to smile. She didn't really look much happier than before, but at least she was quick enough to let him go anyway.

Regina felt the horror settling deep inside her as Henry just seemed to ignore her even more. His answers to her questions where short and cold, lacking interest. If she had to be completely honest with herself, she knew that she had snapped at him. She just couldn't understand why he wasn't able to have a normal conversation with her? That wasn't too much to ask of a boy of his age.

She knew right away what he was doing, tossing that small fake smile her way. Don't think that she hadn't noticed the fact that he had started eating faster. He wanted to get away from her. It pissed her off. What had she done wrong? She had raised him to be a good boy. She had done a great job and they had been the perfect family; that was until that blonde bimbo decided to show up at her doorstep hand in hand with chaos itself.

She realized that her thoughts where drifting to Emma again and looking at Henry as he tried that pathetic smile again didn't really seem to help her at all. Granting his wish, she clenched her jaw in anger and frustration as she dismissed him.

Taking out the dishes, the slowly began the process of cleaning them. She had a dishwasher that she used, but on days like this, she enjoyed doing it by hand. It gave her some space and a place to think and dwell in her feelings.

She couldn't believe that this was happening! It felt like Henry was slipping away all the while Emma kept pushing on her. She wouldn't allow this! Not anymore! Something had to be done and it had to be done right this instant. The blonde wanted to play games with her? Well, she would surely show her that she wasn't the only one to play! It was her turn to make a move. And it would end up costing the blonde more damage than she dare say. Regina was the wrong person to try and cross and she was about to let her know that.

"_Ouch!_"

Regina's attention was brought back to reality when she felt a sharp sting in her right hand. Maybe it hadn't been the best idea to begin with the knives in her state of anger. Throwing the sharp object down the sink with a shaky hand, she brought the other up for closer examination.

"Just great!" she muttered under her breath upon seeing red trickling down her wrist in gentle streams.

Not really caring to clean it up, she chose to take a seat by the counter instead. Her whole body was trembling and she felt light headed from all the frustration and anger. A small part of her wanted to cry but she cursed herself for even thinking about showing weakness for no good reason at all. She was just so tired it hurt.

Closing her eyes and leaning her head against the cold counter, her thoughts once more went to Emma. Went to her smile and her laugh; the way her lips had hovered over hers, the numbness and intoxication she had felt from the way their breaths had mingled. The way her lips felt so soft and warm as they moved against hers. It was almost like a small tugging in the back of a locked chamber in her chest, calling for attention. Attention Regina, of course refused to give it.

There was one thing that was clear to her: one way or another she would get that blonde. Then she would have complete control over her and the Sherriff's station once more. Then she could have _her_ Henry back; _h__er_ son back. The thought of that made her smile.


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